Based on a probable April Fool in a Brighton local paper
While nicotine and alcohol
Are the usual daily fix
A man who lives down by the sea
Had a thing about chewing Bics.
Every time John got the urge
He'd reach for the nearest pen
Then suck and chew and crunch it up
Till it couldn't be used again.
His bosses said it had to stop,
He was causing too much friction:
His colleagues couldn't write a thing
Because of his addiction.
Fifty pens a week he chewed,
There was nothing he could do
To stop his friends from seeing red,
While his teeth were black and blue.
And so they hired a hypnotist
Who cured him pretty quick
By jumbling up the mental sequence
Of his habit with a Bic.
So the office now's a happy place
And no-one's apoplectic,
But let us hope John's writing style
Has not become dyslexic.
the above work is copyright David Axton © All Rights Reserved