- General Humour -
Wind of Change
(June 2005)

I've started on my diet and all the goodies have been binned
But now that I am eating less there's lots more room for wind
And through my miles of tubing I can hear it gurgle round
Until it makes an exit with a most explosive sound.

Now there are other problems as it struggles to get free
For it presses on my bladder and makes me want to pee
So I satisfy the craving but it's driving me insane
'Cos then my stomach gurgles and - here we go again.

I wonder why this happens every time I'm on a diet
And why it always waits until everybody's quiet.
I used to think that life was great, and what could ever spoil it?
But now if you can't find me I'll be hiding in the toilet.