Foreign Affairs

Washing Instructions

Jun 2002

Based on an article in the Daily Telegraph

For those of you who haven't yet
Used a washing machine
Electrolux are bringing out
The cleverest ever seen.

A soft and friendly female voice
Will gently talk to you
And offer reassurance if
You don't know what to do.

And then a tinkling piano or
A trumpet fanfare loud
Will tell you that the program's worked;
Won't you feel so proud.

Of course there is a drawback,
There always is you know,
You'll have to pack your washing up;
'Cos to India you must go.

For that's where people think that they
Will only fret and worry
At having strange machines remove
The stains of their last curry.

But things are so unstable there
'Cos the threat of war's inherent
So let's hope they use bio-detergent
And not their nuclear deterrent.

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the above work is copyright David Axton © All Rights Reserved