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some clean, some not, some serious
but all are mine
 

Why do we celebrate St Valentines Day?


I could tell you by email,
A tweet or a poke
But it's not very easy
'Cos I'm only a bloke
So here they are now,
The words I don't say:
I love you, want you and need you
And I'm only a text away.

Your smile is brilliant and dazzling,
Your teeth are so perfectly white,
Do you use a particular toothpaste?
Do you brush them morning and night?
For they light up the room when you laugh,
You smile and my heart just soars
For your teeth are so brilliant and dazzling
But there's a rumour they're not really yours.

Like many men, you're just a flirt
And fancy anything in a skirt
So I'll shave my legs, put my best dress on
And I'll see you tomorrow - love from John.

Your dreams are my dreams
Your tears are my tears
And I will always love you
Through the good and bad years.

For you I'd give up alcohol
And ice cream and eclairs
And instead of using escalators
I'd run up all those stairs
And jog to work each morning
And keep a fitness chart
Then when I'm thin could there be room
For me inside your heart?

I love your lips and your eyes so bright,
I even love your cellulite.

I'm not worthy of your love,
You're far too good for me.
I'd climb a mountain range for you,
Now what about my tea?

You look great, but I feel blue
Because I'm yellow, through and through
And I'll never know what I would do
If only I could speak to you.

Thanks for being you
For nobody else will do,
And thank you for that day
You looked and smiled my way.

You are my knight in shining armour,
You are my Lancelot.
Fighting dragons is such hard work:
Is that why you never dance a lot?

Your love outshines the sun,
It bathes my world in light,
It warms the coldest winter's day
And guides me through the night.

Like man doth gaze upon a star
I view your beauty from afar
For if much closer I should be
Imperfections I may see.
I'm sure that you don't have a squint
And that your mouth won't need a mint
But to see you as I think you are
I'll keep on gazing from afar.

I've been watching you for ages,
When you're on the bus or walking,
But I know you've never noticed that
I've been arrested twice for stalking.

Penguins Don't Play Beachball

I love you more than chocolate,
Red wine and biscuits too:
I'd happily go on a diet
If I could have more of you.

Did you know that you keep me awake at night?
Thinking of lying here holding you tight.
I imagine your body, and my lips exploring,
But knowing my luck you'd be too busy snoring.

You're always on my mind
Ever since we met.
You're always in my thoughts
Impossible to forget.
You're always in my heart
Which puts me in your debt.
You're always in my dreams
And my dreams are always wet.

You smile and my heart starts to race,
I hope that you feel the same.
Please hold me in your warm embrace
And tell me, what's your name?

Men are like holly that's been recently picked
So handle with care to avoid getting pricked.

I'd give up all my savings
My credit card limit too
If it meant that I could get
Some interest from you.

Your smile is the smile of an angel,
Your voice is as soft as a harp.
I'd give you French kisses, my darling,
But your tongue is far too sharp.

They say men are from Mars and women from Venus:
Let's kiss and remove all the space in-between us.
(I suppose there are alternatives here)

There's nowhere that I'd rather be
Than in your heart to stay.
There's nothing that I'd rather do
Than look at you all day.
There's no-one who could ever love
As much as I love you.
There's nothing that I'd rather hear
Than that you love me too.

 

all the above works are copyright David Axton



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