General Humour

A Case Of Dirty Washing

Aug 2002

The baggage handlers at Stansted Airport
Were doing their jobs so well:
It only took an hour for the luggage
To reach the carousel

Which I found that we were sharing
With at least one other flight,
So I pushed my way into the crowd
And got ready for a fight.

I forced my way to the very front
And stood with arms pinned tight,
Leaning forward, craning to see
If my case was yet in sight.

A trolley was jammed into my leg,
I got an elbow in the face:
There wasn't room to swing a cat
Let alone a heavy case.

I stood my ground and waited but
My luggage never appeared
And in the end I was all alone,
It was what I'd always feared -

Baggage well and truly lost
Between Stansted and Alicante:
Even now somebody might be
Wearing our shirts and panties.

"Hey, Dave!" - a very familiar voice
Broke into my mental Hell;
"They're over here!" my wife called out
Standing by another carousel.

We certainly didn't fly via Amsterdam!
I just couldn't understand
Till I saw an off-duty baggage-handler
Looking pleased things had gone just as planned.

So the proposal for a further three runways
Must surely ring warning bells:
For if passenger volumes increase you can bet
There'll be blood on the carousels!

title list     home

the above work is copyright David Axton © All Rights Reserved