General Humour
Maureen's Magic Moment
Nov 2003
Maureen was getting on a bit,
Fifty-five had been and gone,
Just like all those boyfriends
Who'd never stayed for long.
So sitting in the pub one night
With her usual glass of gin
She was feeling rather melancholy
When a handsome man came in.
'Handsome' is a subjective word,
It's all in the eye of the beholder,
And he certainly did catch Maureen's eye
But then Maureen was getting older.
Anyway, as luck would have it
There was only one empty chair
And that was next to Maureen,
Who'd quickly put it there.
"Is it okay if I join you?"
He asked in a voice rich and clear:
Maureen, speechless, nodded her head
So he sat down and spilt his beer.
There followed a moment of panic
As they both tried blotting her skirt,
But when he smiled and said, "Sorry"
She began to outrageously flirt.
She adjusted her blouse to reveal
The cleavage she normally hid
Then, struggling for conversation,
Asked what it was that he did.
He turned out to be a magician,
Though not very good it was clear
For he had a certain clumsiness,
Which was why she was smelling of beer.
They drank and they talked for hours
And with every gin she grew bolder,
Giggling just like a young schoolgirl
She forgot she was getting older.
Yes, Maureen was falling in love,
Her hand into his hand she put,
Then, searching for ways to impress him,
She scratched her nose with her foot.
The resultant burst of excitement
Left her far from disappointed
'Cos Marvo, for that was his stage name,
Loved women who were double-jointed.
He begged her to help with his new trick
And the gin made it seem quite a laugh
That he'd just lost his latest assistant
While learning to saw her in half.
Thrilled that at last she was wanted
Maureen knew they would make a good pair,
But then had some slight misgivings
When he stood up and fell over his chair.
They staggered out into the night
Yet nobody did they disturb,
Not even when Maureen laughed out loud
As Marvo tripped over the kerb.
Together they swung round a corner,
His arm draped over her shoulder,
And nobody ever saw Maureen again
But let's face it, she was getting older.
the above work is copyright David Axton © All Rights Reserved
