General Humour

A Day By The Sea, 1980

Sep 2002

I'm renowned for the quality of my 'days out'

'Where shall we go?' I asked, and they said
The beach was the place to be
So we loaded the car and after an hour
I was parked a mile from the sea.

We walked to the beach, me, my wife and the kids,
With arms full of all we would need:
Buckets and spades and bats and balls
And things for a jolly good feed.

I laid out a blanket with a rock on each corner
And said it was time we should eat,
Then stubbed my toe on one of the rocks
And found tar all over my feet.

I sat on the crisps, spilt juice in the sand
And trod on the suncream, and then
Saw the children were digging up horrible things
Which we hurriedly buried again.

Then dark heavy clouds took over the sky
And a sea breeze began to blow:
So we huddled together and shivered a bit,
Waiting for the sun to show.

There was sand in the sandwiches, flies in the drinks
And the paper plates blew far away.
The ice cream had melted and a wasp found the pear,
So we decided to call it a day.

We packed up our bits and trudged back to the car
To find that I'd lost my key,
And my wife had left hers in her bag in the boot
So I called out the RAC.

It was four hours later when we finally got home
And I wished we had gone to the zoo,
But even then there was more to go wrong
'Cos guess what I found on my shoe!

title list     home

the above work is copyright David Axton © All Rights Reserved