Nature & Wildlife

The Walrus And The Dentist

May 2001

British dentists went to operate on walrus tusks in Moscow Zoo.

The elderly walrus was a sad old fellow
Whose teeth were turning extremely yellow
He had such pain from one large tusk
That all he could eat was a soggy rusk
Gone for him was the shellfish diet,
Which meant that meals were very quiet.

Then along came a dentist from Enfield Chase
Who'd been called in just for this case
He asked the walrus to open wide
And then had a jolly good look inside
But when he emerged he looked like death
'Cos there's nothing as bad as a walrus' bad breath.

He said, "We'll need anaesthetic before we begin"
And promptly downed a bottle of gin
Then pushed and tugged, hammered and drilled
Until two teeth were finally filled
And one large tusk lay on the floor
Next to the dentist, who'd started to snore.

The walrus explored his mouth with his tongue
Quite pleased with what the dentist had done
For the crunching of shellfish could now begin
And he grinned a very lopsided grin
While the dentist dreamt of presenting his account
'Cos a very large tusk meant a very large amount.

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the above work is copyright David Axton © All Rights Reserved