In the depths of Wimbledon Common
Are animals that nobody sees:
They hide from the light, only come out at night,
And badgers are just some of these.
There were two rival gangs of these badgers,
Each certain that they were the best:
Full of good diggers, with homes that were bigger
And better than all of the rest.
But which of the gangs was the stronger?
Which was the cream of the cream?
Somebody thought it was time that they fought,
But that seemed a little extreme.
So they all agreed on a 'dig-in'
On Wimbledon's Centre Court.
They asked Sally Gunnell if she'd judge the tunnels,
She couldn't but said, "Thanks for the thought".
The two gangs arrived just on midnight
With pickaxes, torches and spades,
And over the net their eyes would have met
If they hadn't been wearing their shades.
An owl gave a hoot and they started,
Gone was the time for just talk.
To the shouts of the crowd they dug up a cloud
Of dirt - and grass - and chalk.
For an hour-and-a-half they battled,
And when all the digging was done
They worked out the score and it wasn't a draw:
It was two badger setts to one.
the above work is copyright David Axton © All Rights Reserved